I'm on a boat!

Today was so exciting that I had to talk about it so memories. Today I had a tennis tournament, got there around 9 and played against Khang, Jenny and Tri. Khang 6-7 tiebreaker 6-8, Jenny 6-2, and Tri 6-7 tiebreaker 1-7. I'm always so close but its never enough to win it all. Kinda sucks but I'll work on that. Epic battle with Shane and Jing. Afterwards Shane took me on his parent's boat and its fun and nice, it was the first time I have ever been on a boat so it was exciting Shane was so pro at what is it called? Water boarding? I don't know but I tried water skiing and it was fun but got me sore I think. Fell off like 6-7 times really fast, I stayed up for only a little bit then lost balance easily. Fun experience and then went swimming in the river for a bit with him, he was freezing his ass off haha. I love hanging out with him. Afterwards sped back to the dock on the boat and stopped at McDonalds once they took the boat on the truck. Fun day! But then again I always have fun with him anyways =)

Real talk

"You think you're not pretty. There's always someone uglier. You want more money. People are in poverty. You want a boyfriend. Someone doesn't even have parents. You're hungry. A child is starving. You want to go to the mall. Someone is looking for anything they can wear just to stay warm. You're chilly. Others are frozen. You just want to die. Most people want to live. So don't waste your time on things that you think you want because there is always someone out there who needs it much more than you could possibly know."

The most negative post you'll ever find me writing

For once in my life, this song really applies to how I feel right now. I've climbed too high just to fall even greater. I just really wanted this AP score to feel like as though I'm not as academically smart as those people in my school, I'm still determined, that I was worth something after all. But now, seeing that even trying at my best, it still wasn't enough I don't know what I'm good at. I don't have any skill/talent or anything. I thought I could handle everything, I thought if I was determined I could do it all, but I can't. I just feel like, I'm not doing this planet any good use, and being a waste of carbon dioxide. I feel like I am comparing myself to a lot of people, because I'm trying to live up to there standards. I'm surrounded by successful people and its hard to realize and accept that I just don't belong with them. I've always mostly think optimistically about everything, I can see that I am an optimistic person but, reality hit me hard. I'm a dreamer, and I've been out of touch with reality. It took me too long to realize that I couldn't handle and balance everything. As much as I wanted too, I couldn't handle and focus on everything to be at my best. What hope is there for accomplishment when your best isn't even enough?